Taylor Swift Dominates at 2013 Billboard Music Awards
Kellie Pickler Named 'Dancing With the Stars' Champion
Beyonce Releases New Anthem, 'Grown Woman'
J. Cole Performs 'Born Sinner' on 'Late Night With Jimmy Fallon,' Reveals Competitive Spirit Against Kanye West
Carrie Underwood 'Goats' Hunter Hayes With Blown Away Tour Prank
PHOTO: Dog Guards Dead Victim's Body After Oklahoma Tornado Disaster
Blake Shelton Will Return for Season 5 of 'The Voice'
Demi Looks FANTASTIC In A Bikini
Tim McGraw's 'Superstar Summer Night' Special to Air May 19
LOOK: Bank Vault Saves 22 Lives During Tornado
Toby Keith Says His Hometown of Moore, Oklahoma 'Will Perservere' After Deadly Tornado
Man Reportedly Beheaded In Brutal Assault In London Neighborhood
Tim McGraw Stops Atlanta Show to Help Ailing Fan
Wolf Blitzer's Embarrassing Moment With Tornado Survivor
Miguel and Fan Are 'Okay' After Crazy Kick at 2013 Billboard Music Awards
The World's Most Powerful Women
Mother Dies With Infant During Oklahoma Tornado
Who Won 'DWTS'?
U.S. Acknowledges Four American Citizens Killed In Drone Strikes
PHOTOS: Christie Brinkley Gets Back Into A Swimsuit At 59 Years Old
Help For Heroes Killing
NY Times Eviscerates Obama White House
PHOTOS: This Is The Best Response To Abercrombie CEO Mike Jeffries We've Seen Yet
Mum-Of-Two Faces Down Woolwich Attack Suspects
60 Minutes Makes All The Difference For $360 Million Jackpot
PHOTOS: Tornado Aftermath Leaves Trail Of Destruction
Rescuers Continue Search For Tornado Survivors
White Father Allegedly Suspected Of Kidnapping Biracial Daughters
Singer Sues McDonald's, Claims Chicken Sandwich Incident Ruined Her Voice
CBS Reporter's Grave Allegations
Tara Ellison: Why I Gave A Toast At My Ex-Husband's Wedding
Tornadoes Strike Oklahoma
Police END Search For Susan Powell
Jill Johnson, jpistudios.com
Dolly is every friend's shoulder to cry on and every journalist's dream, speaking in smart and often sassy "soundbites" that make the story memorable. She's had so many funny one-liners through the years that an entire book, The Quotable Dolly, has been dedicated to the icon's spoken words.
In celebration of today's (May 1) release of her latest movie, "Joyful Noise" on DVD, The Boot presents our Top 10 favorite Dolly Parton jokes, straight from the country legend's perfectly lined lips.
10. "I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out."
9. "Home is where I hang my hair."
8. "It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen."
7. "Find out who you are and do it on purpose!"
6. "When I talk to a man, I can always tell what he's thinking by where he's looking. If he's looking at my eyes, he's looking for intelligence. If he's looking at my mouth, he's looking for wisdom. If he's looking anywhere else except my chest, he's looking for another man."
5. "It takes a lot of time and money to look this cheap."
4. "If I see something saggin', baggin', or draggin', I'm gone have it nipped, tucked, or sucked!"
3. "They think I'm simpleminded because I seem to be happy. Why shouldn't I be happy? I have everything I ever wanted and more. Maybe I am simpleminded. Maybe that's the key: simple."
2. "I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes, because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde."
1. "That I can look totally artificial and be totally real is perfectly fine with me.''
Dolly Dishes Advice, Talks New DVD
lovewealthy.c0m
Wealthyluv.com
Suny
Spencer
142 Comments