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Chely Wright Struggling With Lack of Country Music Support

Matt Sayles, AP

It's been two years since Chely Wright came out as a lesbian, and she admits she's still struggling to be accepted -- especially in country music. The singer-songwriter acknowledges she feels a disappointing rejection from an industry that once welcomed her with open arms, and wishes more of her fellow artists would stand in her corner.

"It's not my belief that I should be performing on every awards show," she tells "CBS This Morning." "Now it's the new Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood and Lady Antebellum. That's a natural part of entertainment. But there's an institutionalized friendship within country music -- once you're one of us, you're always invited to certain things, to present or be a part of it or chair a committee for the Country Music Hall of Fame. I used to do things like that. It's a rejection mostly, because I would like to hear a country music artist, the big ones, not just say, 'Well, I like Chely. I like her even though she's gay.' I need a country artist who is a big deal, like Jay-Z in his community -- he came forward and said, 'I believe in equality for all.' I'm struggling because I have not heard that from the big stars in country music."

The songstress, who counts Mary Chapin Carpenter, LeAnn Rimes and SHeDAISY among her few supporters, adds that it's not only peers that have given her the cold shoulder, but many of her fans as well. "Some of the fears that I had that did come to pass were just an across-the-board rejection by a certain number of my fans," she explains. "In the equality movement, we talk about the 'movable middle.' That's who I wanted to speak to in country music -- the fans who needed to hear a story like mine, who needed to know that for years they had loved a gay person and just didn't know it, and that's the power of telling our stories. But there are people on the far right, it doesn't matter what you say to them, they are not going to be OK with my being gay. Then there are people on the far left that, when they found out, they're like, 'I don't care. Who cares?' But it's that movable middle that have to think about it now. They did love, and stand in my autograph line and come see my shows for years, they did love a gay woman and they had to then make the assessment that, OK, nothing's changed. I still like her."

The Kansas native spent most of her life bracing herself for the struggle she is currently facing. "When I was in kindergarten, I felt different and somewhat not like the other kids, but I didn't understand until I was about nine years old that I was a little gay girl in Kansas on a farm," Chely recalls. "I was raised in a home, in a town that said [homosexuality is the devil], in a church. Quite frankly, that was 1979 that I realized I was a little gay girl with aspirations of being on the Grand Ole Opry, and those things didn't fit together. We still struggle to make those things fit together, but they fit for me now."

Chely, who wed GLBT activist Lauren Blitzer last year in Connecticut, regrets the years she dated men, including Brad Paisley, while trying to cover up her sexuality.

"I had several relationships with several wonderful men," she recalls. "I do regret those men that I dated that I could never reciprocate the love and affection that they had for me. I knew it the entire time that I couldn't, and there's a particular cruelty to that. I haven't spoken to Brad, but a couple of our mutual friends have spoken to one another. I heard recently that he sent me a smile and a hug. Brad's a good guy, and I should have been able to pull him aside and say, 'I can't date you because I'm gay.' One never really knows what someone would do with that information. He is a good person, but I was too afraid to tell him."

The "Single White Female" singer hopes her coming out inspires others who are struggling to follow suit. "Basic statistics would tell us that there are others like me," explains the 41-year-old. "There are a lot of people in the industry. We have radio people, programmers, producers, songwriters, artists -- a lot of folks in the industry have come to me and said, 'I just can't do it, but good for you.' And they wonder why they can't, or they say 'I'm out enough because I told my mom.' You're really not out unless it says it on your Wikipedia page."

Still, the author of the memoir, "Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Singer" says she harbors no ill-will towards those who have turned their back on her. "I have my sights set on the positive things that I can do, the advocacy groups with whom I work," she notes. "I don't need much from Nashville. I'm fine. I'm not losing sleep over the fact that no one's standing up and saying 'Chely Wright has done a great thing and this is important.' I'm trying to work on those things and to use my voice to make sure that everyone out there in America knows, you do love a gay person. It may not be me, but I promise you, you have a neighbor, you have a coworker, you have a niece, and be mindful of the negative things you say about gays and lesbians because someone is listening."

Chely detailed her decision to come out in a documentary, "Wish Me Away," which won the Documentary Channel Audience Award. The film will be available on several media outlets, including Comcast, DirecTV and iTunes, starting tomorrow (June 1). Details can be found here.

Watch Chely Talk About Her Fans
Chely Wright on 'Betraying' Her Country Fans

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S Price

Chely, I am/was part of that moveable middle. My views about homosexuality has been evolving for several years, but reading your story and seeing your documentary has really brought it home for me. I am sorry that your mom cannot find it in her heart to be there for you, but because of you, a lot of mothers will be. . My daughter was born in 2009, and she will grow up knowing that I will ALWAYS love and support her, whether she is gay or straight. Thank you for helping to change my heart.

February 10 2013 at 9:50 AM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
JennCerbone

Being gay, bisexual, or transgender is not wrong. If you have people in your life that can't be supportive of who you are, then they should be out of your life.

I think all schools need to educate students about being gay, bisexual, or transgender. Unless you know the facts you can't judge them as a person.

Now, I understand that people learn things through media, through people they know, in textbooks, but to really understand someone as being gay, bisexual, or transgender, you should ask them yourselves.

Also, I will not respond to anyone who doesn't support what I said.

January 05 2013 at 4:06 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
JennCerbone

First of all I would like to say that I support Chely Wright being gay.

I am disappointed in people who aren't supportive of who she is.

For any person or celebrity that has come out to be gay, be proud of who you are and don't let the negavity of people who aren't supportive get to you.

I think it tooks real guts for chely to do the documentary movie.

January 05 2013 at 3:49 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
John

Chely, perhaps if you quit talking about your 'sex-life' in every single interview and got back to focusing on the music, maybe someone would want to listen to your music again. After all, it has been at least 10 years since you had a hit record (the real reason she started talking about her 'sex-life'.

August 19 2012 at 10:20 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
devinmcmusters

A couple of hits ten years ago does not entitle you to still be famous. Ask Terri Clark.

June 04 2012 at 11:01 AM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
ethanletter

In response to the delusional comments that Chely is "forcing" something down your throat as if her sexuality were a food you were allergic to at a state fair someone was shoving in your face, I'll post what I posted in the Boot article announcing her engagement last year: So let me get this straight (no pun intended,) did anyone ever list "sexuality" as one of the reasons you ARE fan of Carrie Underwood or Brad Paisley? So (and bear with me as I use *gasp* LOGIC here,) why should "sexuality" suddenly be a reason why you AREN'T a fan of Chely Wright? Remind me what she ever did to you, first of all, and second, I don't think the fact that any country star is heterosexual is the REASON your kids who are straight are straight, so I can promise you that Chely has no more influence on your kids than those artists do. So, I ask you, what on EARTH are you so damn AFRAID of? Not to mention the fact that she's not "rubbing it in your face" any more than Carrie was when she announced HER engagement to Mike Fisher. It just happens to stand out. It's not Carrie's fault that she's a member of the population's sexual majority, and it's not Chely's fault that SHE isn't. Chely, Carrie, and all of them are HUMAN FIRST. And at least they exhibit the civility of a human being, as some people in this comment thread. I wish I could say the same for some of the others. No one should be praised or criticized for having been lucky or unlucky to be born straight, gay, blonde, white, or black.

June 02 2012 at 12:59 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Chris Hill

Wait so she wants the approval of Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, Lady A and other country stars sounds to me somebody is insecure about themselves. Why bring other artist into this maybe they dont agree with gays like most of America. Sounds like she wants attention because her music sucks

June 01 2012 at 5:54 PM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Chris Hill's comment
ethanletter

She didn't say she wanted their approval at all. What article did you read? She said she is very aware of the current market. Nowhere in this article does she complain about a lack of commercial success, contrary to delusion. She is explaining the sudden lack of familial acceptance--regardless of current commercial success or lack thereof--that people always BRAG about being such an inherent part of the country music "family." If Taylor Swift never had another record, she would always be welcome in Nashville, and that welcoming attitude, as I'm sure many radio programmers would tell you, has little to do with her commercial success. It's about respect and compassion for your fellow country gal, regardless of who the hell she sleeps with.

June 02 2012 at 1:13 AM Report abuse -1 rate up rate down Reply
Rick

Maybe if she would stop reminding people she's gay every 5 minutes,people would be more accepting of her.OR make some good music which she never really has done.Look at her twitter page,it's ALL she talks about!!!! SHUT UP ALREADY!!

June 01 2012 at 3:20 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Rick's comment
JennCerbone

It shouldn't matter what she says. She is doing that because she is proud to be gay.

January 05 2013 at 3:51 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Kathleen

Gay people need to understand something - not EVERYONE agrees with their life style. I know, gay people have major issues with straight people who don't accept their "gayness" - they tend to forget how the birthing process goes and where they came from - a man and a woman (they must hate that!). As far as Cheley goes, it's no surprise that other gay performers are supporting Cheley (Carpenter et all), of course they would. But, I'm sorry. I don't think Cheley is a very good singer. Could this be the reason for her rejection? Maybe she had potential at the beginning, but after a couple of years, she hasn't improved so why support her? But, being gay here it comes...get that publicity any way you can and start with the, "Wahhh, it's because I'm gay" whine that we are all sick of hearing. She chose the lifestyle - she has to live with it and that includes any and all consequences that goes along with it. Maybe it's just time to get a day job. Of course, if she can't get a job she wants, that will be because she's gay too, right? Give it a rest!

June 01 2012 at 6:09 AM Report abuse +3 rate up rate down Reply
mkmorgenroth

How about putting out some quality music?

June 01 2012 at 5:16 AM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply

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